The Little Blue Book

There I was, surfing the ‘Net as usual. I was looking at Neal Boortz’s site. He’s a libertarian radio commentator who isn’t afraid to tell politicians on either side of the political spectrum when they’re full of shit, or as he likes to refer to it, “horse squeeze.” He has a feature on his site called Nealz Nuze. On this particular day he had a link to a website called History Company. At this particular website there is the Pocket Obama. So I thought “okay, I’ll bite.” I went to the site and sure enough, there’s an item where you can buy ten copies of the Pocket Obama for $49.50. I saw a picture of this item – it’s a Little Blue Book. At first I thought “this has got to be a joke,” but alas there is a link to this item on Amazon.com. I explored further – you can get a single copy of the Little Blue Book for $5.95. Here’s the product description on Amazon:

This is the little blue book that right-wing partisans love to hate. Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, POCKET OBAMA is an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama's speeches and writings, intended to keep the momentum going for those inspired by his message of hope and change. The portable book serves as a reminder of the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words, a primer for readers who want to examine the substance of his thought and reflect on the next great chapter in the American story. His captivating oratory has earned comparisons to John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, and this collection presents words that catapulted his remarkable rise to the American Presidency and set a true course for the future. Includes themes of democracy, politics, war, terrorism, race, community, jurisprudence, faith, personal responsibility, national identity, and above all, his hoped-for vision of a new America. POCKET OBAMA is essential reading as we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin the work of remaking America.

When I first checked this out, the description had one more sentence, which has since been deleted: "It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times." Immediately this blurb conjured up visions of government indoctrination. But I won't worry about the Little Blue Book unless the kids bring it home from school. When I first read that little blurb it brought to mind another book of indoctrination, a certain Little Red Book that I bought when I was just a teenager [I still have it]. Only this particular Little Red Book was an anthology of quotations borrowed from the speeches and writings of Chairman Mao. So here's the link if you want to check it out for yourself:

http://www.historycompany.com/productdetails.php?p=128

This is quite humorous. Just for grins I might get myself a copy. But I can’t help but think when I see items like this that sometimes I just might be the guy Bob Dylan sang about in his Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues [except the Hitler and the Jews bit]:

Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them Communists they wus comin' around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
Look out you Commies!

Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
At least you can't say he was a Communist!
That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .

I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .

Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .

Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.

Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there's just one man
That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.

Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!

Ironically, my favorite color is red...